Reasons Why L Doesn't Die or Can't Die Because
by Hello-Sweetie19
Summary: Crazy reasons why L does not die
1. reasons 1 to 127

Disclaimer: This list has nothing to do with Death Note except that its about L.I made this up with my friends and some of it is true but most of it isn't. I own the idea of putting this list together. Everything else belongs to the creator of Death Note.

Reasons Why L Doesn't Die or Can't Die Because...

He's L.

He's British.

He's severely underweight.

He's a ball magnet (you don't even want to know.)

He likes sweets and doesn't get fat.

He's a master at tennis.

He looks good in a dress.

He's getting married next Tuesday.

He has a pregnant fiancé.

Light is his long-lost brother.

Has never eaten sushi.

Never been to the arctic to see polar bears.

Holds stuff weird.

Needs to learn to write with left hand.

Needs to learn how to control a knife.

He's a vampire.

He's made of pudding.

His blood's black.

He walks into walls.

He's had a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day.

Never been on American Idol.

He hasn't gotten his glasses Rx yet.

His voice is like an angel… Not.

He's Garra without the demon.

He likes turtles.

Six Flags Theme Park is amazingly awesome.

He likes penguins.

He goes to conventions cosplayed as Light.

He doesn't like socks.

Birds fly and pigs don't.

Y2K didn't happen.

He's really smart.

Noodles are in cells.

Heredity isn't real.

He touched Misa.

Naruto is alive.

He sticks beans in his ears.

He has a stick.

Look! A distraction.

He lies and his pants don't catch on fire.

He needs a hug.

He's clinically insane… And loving it.

He's a chibi.

He has an imaginary boyfriend.

He's Hot!

His college major is therapy.

He doesn't have a heart.

He's 3rd in command of a spaceship.

……..Your Mom.

……..Because.

He's a fangirl of Sailor Moon.

He's a genius of randomness.

He never goes outside.

He read How to Kill a Mockingbird.

He rocks at the Wii.

He pwns Halo 3.

His favorite song is "Butterfly" by DDR.

He mastered Pac-man.

He ate Mrs. Pac-man.

He declared Japan's independence.

He killed the people of Pompeii.

He has a bunny named Floppers.

He has a Myspace.

He's a male model.

He has his own Buddha.

He hates food.

L defeated Itachi, Sasuke, and Orochimaru.

He's too young to die,

Silence is golden and duct tape is silver.

Grass isn't emo and doesn't cut itself.

He makes a good test subject.

He's appropriate for life.

……………..He died.

He likes the Jeopardy theme song.

……….Just 'cause.

He is "Law"liet.

He is good nugety freshness.

He draws his own manga series.

He invented invisible shoes.

He's not from Japan.

He had plastic surgery.

He wears a wig.

He shops at K-mart.

L is bi.

Hell isn't frozen over.

He has implants.

He got electrocuted 3 times and lived. (except for a couple brain cells.)

He has abnormal mitosis.

He has a pet llama.

No one loves Tina.

Bow-chicka-wow-wow.

He likes drinking salt water.

He shaved Light's head.

He takes steroids.

He likes Algebra.

He has an awesome ringtone.

Jon skips. (an inside joke.)

His shinigami is in hiding.

He has shinigami eyes.

He invented Death Note.

He's a romance language.

He eats starfish.

He was a guest star on Law and Order,

He invented wet napkins.

He likes I-Spy,

It's not on his person.

That's what she said.

He sniffs paint sharpie and expo.

That's what his face said.

He can whistle the Mario theme song.

He's going to destroy the universe.

He's the ruler of the universe.

He dyed his hair extreme red.

Jon raped him. (another inside joke.)

Kellie molested him. Yup Yup.

Tim messed up his face.

He wants to see his DMNA. (a crazy way to say DNA.)

He's edjumakated.

He's an ambulance driver.

He works at Starbucks.

He killed Kenny. (Who hasn't?)

He doesn't know his names.

Shut goes down, ask a computer.

He has a winos. (his elbow, get your mind out of the gutter.)

The literacy rate in the U.S, is about 94 .

He has a boyish figure.

He invented the L-POD.


	2. reasons 128 to 162

He's emo.

He was a guest star on Bleach and OHSHC.

He's a Quincy in disguise.

He has cancer.

He likes puppies with waggily tails.

He's the 8th Hokage.

Kakashi gave him 1000 years of death.

He has a tutu.

He's a mage.

He's level 100 on runescape.

It's snowing!!!!!!!!!!

He's the principal of ADAMS. (my high school.)

Remember 1000 years of death?…. He liked it.

He works at Hot-Topic part time.

He's made of cotton candy.

Sirius Black is his 2nd cousin.

Kakashi was his roomie in college.

Lee stole Gaara's eyebrows.

Light killed JFK.

He invented Microsoft. (Bill Gates just stole it.)

Everybody sing the L song!!

Six Flags Theme Park is amazingly awesome.

He likes to sing the doom song.

He has a fuzz collection.

He can perfectly dance Haruhi Suzumiya's dance Hare Hare Yukai.

He has a pool filled with green Jell-O.

He walks into walls.

He has another awesome ringtone.

He writes poetry.

He's Racer X.

Zero ate him.

He knows he won't live forever.

He sings "Let it Snow" in the summertime.

He goes to Hot-Topic regularly.

He owns an L shirt.


	3. Character's Reactions

Hey this next little part is for when the characters see this and their reactions. Alrighty then,

L: Light, come here did you see this list on Fanfiction about why I can't die? I think it's pretty cool!!!!!!!

Light: Ryuzaki, have you been drinking way too much caffeine again?

L: Maybe… why do you ask?

Light: Because, you're hyper as hell and are getting excited over this. Let me see it if it's all that.

-Light looks at the computer screen and reads the reasons-

Light: There are so many things wrong with that; it's not even funny.

L: Like what exactly, Light?

Light: Like the fact that you work at Hot-Topic and that I killed JFK. And no matter how much you wish you were, you are not made of cotton candy.

L: Aww, but I love cotton candy. And I do work at Hot-Topic but they know when to let me time off when I have a case I'm working on. And the fact that you killed JFK is not so unbelievable. I mean c'mon.

Light: I keep telling you, I am not KIRA!!!!! I thought you of all people would trust me Ryuzaki. **–**sorms out of the room-

L: Weeell, So Misa, what did you think about it?

Misa: I thought it was very creative, it really made me want to go get an L-POD!!!

L: Really, well you would have to talk to ashleyfanficwriter1993 and her friends about that but I did like that idea and why would they have L shirts? It's just a white shirt. That won't sell at all. Now a shirt with my face on it that would make millions.

Misa: I think that's what they meant about the L shirt.

L: Why would I own a shirt with my face on it? And who gave them permission to use my face without paying me? I'm fear for my life.

Watari: Ryuzaki, there is a guy on the phone asking if you want to renew your subscription to sugar addicts monthly.

L: I told him not to call me unless he had a bigger emergency. Alright, I'll talk to him. –takes the phone- What is it this time, Matsuda?

Matsuda: I was just looking up things on the Internet to find out more about Light and his background and found this story about how you don't die and it was so funny.

L: Yes, Matsuda. That's very interesting. Now if that's all you had to say then I'll go. I'm very busy.

Matsuda: All right, but if you get the chance, look it up on fanfiction ok. It's hilarious!!!

L: I'll be sure to get right on that. Now goodbye, Matsuda. –hangs up the phone on him-

Whew, that was a close one.

Now that wasn't so bad, was it? I will be doing these throughout the rest of the list so please bear in mind that I'm not trying to break any rules here. –Ashleyfanficwriter1993-


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